Top 5 ways we as women sabotage our relationship with money

Julie Murphy • January 11, 2011

I’ve come to believe that most unhealthy financial behaviors result from emotional conflict or unrest within the individual. Now is the perfect time to understand how you might be sabotaging your relationship with money. Knowing why you’re spending will help you get in touch with your heart’s desires. And it’ll create a vibration of harmony and abundance in your life.

First, let’s look at a few reasons we sabotage one of our most important relationships in life.

• We put other’s needs before our own
How many times have we bought something our husband or kids didn’t need, “just because”?

• We spend on what we think we need
It’s easy to get caught up in the “keeping up with the Jones’” mentality, so we rationalize those expensive briefcases or luxury cars as fitting in with our circles.

• We’ve convinced ourselves it’s a treat
We work hard, so we deserve that high-end handbag. But when it comes at the expense of what what’s really in our hearts, how much of a ‘treat’ is it really?

• We listen to what the “crabs” say
We want the ones closest to us to accept what we want, and we’re devastated when they don’t.

• And one of the biggest ways we sabotage our money situation is to ignore our dreams and desires for the sake of taking care of the “necessities.”

So many of us are just going through the motions in our lives, pushing down our true passions in lieu of what we think life should be. But there’s no better time than now to take the leap.

Here’s an exercise: Sit quietly and listen to your own heartbeat. Ask yourself, “What do I need? What do I want?” Maybe you want more time alone or need a creative outlet or more physical activity. Maybe you need to end a relationship that’s making you miserable or move overseas.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. So don’t judge your needs and desires; they have merit and deserve to be taken seriously. Let them flow out onto a piece of paper, and look over what you wrote.

Now choose one of the items on your list and describe some specific, practical ways you might begin to meet it. Do you need fifteen minutes alone each day when you get home from work? Do you need to open a “Europe” savings account and put ten dollars into it each month? What’s the first step, and when can you get it done?

Acknowledge how powerful it feels to funnel your energy toward your own needs and desires. Make a pledge to take at least a few minutes each day to accept who you really are and think of concrete ways to honor the authentic you. Feel the harmonious vibration from one simple act hum through every aspect of your life!

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