Your attitude inventory: where are these feelings coming from?

Julie Murphy • March 24, 2011

Last week, we talked about doing an attitude inventory to get control of your finances. If you associate negative feelings towards your money, your relationship suffers. So checking your attitude out is a step in the right direction to fixing your financial problems. But what comes next?

Since you’ve figured out your true feelings towards your money, it’s time to think about why. This may seem counterproductive; after all, you know how you feel and now you want to fix, fix and fix some more! But I believe that you should delve deeper into the “why” to overcome those issues and really succeed in your new financial life.

Recognize where the problems come from…

Now that you’ve spent a few days figuring out where you stand, I want you to think about how you got there. This doesn’t have to be scary and painful, but it does have to be an honest assessment. Anything and everything from your past could have shaped your view of money. Really delve deep and consider any possible reason why you have the issues you deal with today.

I know exactly where my money issues came from. I’m the second oldest of 12 siblings, and that gave me own inherited beliefs about money that I still work through today. It’s no surprise that that I learned there would never be enough. As an adult, I had a scarcity mentality with money; it was modeled on my parents’ money pattern. What situations in your past can you point towards as the beginnings of your relationship with money?

…but don’t place all the blame elsewhere

Yes, most of our current actions are a result of things out of our control. But that was then, and this is now. Every action you make today is a choice. When you choose to spend more than you have, you know the consequences can (and probably will) give you stress and anxiety. And this puts you in a bad place; your attitude towards money will be negative, and your decisions will follow suit.

Once I realized that my money pattern leaked into other areas of my life, I knew I had to make a change. And that can be traced back to my childhood as well. Whenever I was given a treat, I would devour it for fear that I would lose it. As an adult, this “scarcity mindset” I had with money also affected my relationship with food; I developed a pattern of overeating.

The next step

The attitude inventory opened your eyes to what’s really going on in your head. But really dealing with the feelings means continuing to ask yourself questions. Feel free to write down anything you think is relevant, and don’t judge what you come up with. These are steps you need to take to improve – or fix – your relationship with money.

Tags: Julie Murphy, emotion behind money, healthy choices, personal finance, Chicago personal finance, money, Chicago money advice

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