Break Your Dam, It’s Time to Rebuild
We all have experiences and conditioning that has shaped us during our lives. If you added them all up the result is the “you” of today. “You” today, is only a fraction of who you really are, join me in breaking the dams we’ve created so we can rebuild ourselves from our core. From the inside out!
Ready, Set, Go…..
This past week has consisted of a range of emotions. I’ve been that woman that has conquered it all. I pushed through the standards set by many of those in my life, past and present, I’ve done it all. On so many levels, I don’t feel that way. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot, graduated college, undergrad and graduate, from two of the best universities in this country, I’ve married a wonderful man, I’ve had four healthy children who are thriving, etc. But still, something felt off.
We beat ourselves up in the moment for not getting this done or that done, or why didn’t our kids turn out this way or that way, but in reality, we are amazing!! Take the time to see how amazing you are just as I did this past week. List out all those things you’ve done great. We forget to internalize and really feel those accomplishments, big or small. It may even come up for you in a different package. For instance, I was brought to tears a few times this week.
One of those times, I was thinking about my cousin Patrick who committed suicide in his 30s, just after I had an amazing conversation with him about starting his own business. He called me up to try to wrap his head around how I did it. I kept saying “Patrick, what are you talking about?” He said to me, “Julie, you came from no money, you had nothing. My family had so much more than yours did, bigger house, better neighborhood, better cars, better clothes, better schools, etc. You came from a poorer neighborhood than me, but now you are thriving, happy and you run your life the way you want to.” At the time, I wasn’t aware that there was any other way to be. He asked me how he could start to find that for himself, but he had no idea how to start. He was amazing! He just didn’t see what everyone else could. How many gifts he had to share with the world in the perfect version that he was regardless of how much money or success he had from the outside looking in. Gosh, I loved him so much. Even my son Michael Patrick carries his name. I found out about week after he died that his business cards showed up in the mail for his new venture. This was some sadness I was holding onto that was coming up as my dam kept crumbling.
Let’s not wait until a crisis , we don’t have to. We can choose otherwise. Reflecting on my relationship with Patrick this week I realized that my success and accomplishments have been about the impact I have made on people. By having the courage to be my authentic self and by breaking down barriers and walls we’ve created is my purpose. I express my purpose in many areas of my life. Even at my kids’ school, the teachers keep saying to me and my husband how normal we are. I laugh because I didn’t even get what that meant. But in reality, we haven’t bought into the show, the external things to make you happy , the stuff, the appearances, we just are us, take it or leave it. We’re authentic, we are just two Southsiders that have “made it” and our kids go to a great private school in the city and we don’t treat others differently if they are a have or have not.
I teach, financially speaking, that people fall into one of six categories, the poor, debtors, dreamers, accumulators, rich but empty and those that embody real wealth. Why? Because I have found that anyone who is currently poor, debtor, dreamer or accumulator, are usually striving for something outside of themselves to feel like they have made something of their life. Or achieved something based on someone else’s measuring stick that measures what we should be doing.
Once someone becomes rich , by society terms, meaning they have enough money that they don’t necessarily have to work the rest of their lives or not work as much, we believe that they on some level, have arrived. In reality, many don’t feel that way at all. We are in this hologram believing that this chase or rat race will get you somewhere and we are all working so hard to get there. I’m here to tell you, the rainbow is not at the end of that tunnel.
I’ve spent my career teaching people to love what they do for a living, have the courage to shift when they don’t love it anymore, and financially find a way how to do it. What’s occurred is more money has come their way time and time again as they honor their own self love and self-care. They’ve lived daily by being their authentic selves and scream it to the world. They never become rich but empty, but they align their careers, family life, and personal life with their dreams and desires, and the money follows. As a result, they’ve received fulfillment and quality of life everyday instead of waiting for some hologram that isn’t real.
Two years ago, I was angry at everything and rage was exploding every week from me. I was angry about the status of my marriage, how nasty my kids were talking to each other, that I had two c-sections which I thought was a failure, how my business hadn’t hit the heights I had expected it to, and countless other things. Then I heard that when a person is angry, or in a state of rage, that it really is just deep sadness. At first I would say to myself, “whatever, I’m not sad.” Then I decided to ask myself a question every time I felt anger or rage. “Julie, what are you sad about?” It took about a month of doing this before my sadness came to the surface. I had created a pattern of suffering around the expectations I had set for my life which I had not fulfilled in the timely manner I thought to be true. To survive my childhood, 2 nd oldest of 12 children, and make it out and be successful, I had to be in control of everything around me. That control was no longer serving me well and it was actually what was holding me back.
A few years later, I’ve now realized that we create these patterns in our life to deal with our experiences and I’ve always said that we either have to work things out or act them out. We act them out typically through our money or through our health. And until we typically have a crisis, financial or health, many of us don’t change. By choosing to allow your dam to start cracking, and move to a place of vulnerability, and have the courage to keep walking the path, you will overt having a health or financial crisis.
If you look at it, our country and our world systemically is doing the same thing. We have old belief systems, financial and other sectors, that if we don’t shift, like stop creating all this debt worldwide, we will have another financial crisis on our hands. The hits will keep coming, and keep getting stronger, until we shift.
Personally this is true too. I made a decision in 2005 when my dad had his two strokes that I was not going to create that same crisis pattern. That’s officially when my dam started to break and today, the final old walls of the old me have come down. I sit in a place of pure vulnerability, which for those of you who have known me throughout the years it’s not a place I sat in very often. But what I wanted more than anything was to do what my soul came here to do and not apologize for it. On some level, I always knew the timing would come after I brought my babies into the world, then it was my time. It was then going to be Julie’s time. That time has arrived. That time is now!
I believe our feminine energy is being called to surface to balance out the masculine, competitive nature our world has been for many, many years. In my work, it was about acknowledging that even though I did financial planning so different than all of my colleagues in the industry, I knew I was onto something that made my heart sing. It made me feel excited and expansive and it makes me giggle every time I do it. The fun I’m having today is teaching my system now to other planners so we can now impact a much larger portion of the population.
So, what is your soul supposed to do in this lifetime? I’ll bet you’re not fully doing it or you wouldn’t be reading this blog. If you need help, we are here to support you. Join our Facebook community here or email us at info@jmcwealth.com if you’d like individual help. It’s your time to take back your personal power with money and fully embody who you are meant to be.
The post Break Your Dam, It’s Time to Rebuild appeared first on Julie Murphy.
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